Insight

This world, this world such beauty and pain

A pretense of freedom, yet what do we gain?

Popular opinion and fleeting fame -

Can’t you see this ball and chain?

This life, this life, not made to last

It passes by and is over so fast.

When all we have of life is past

What will hold and keep our souls fast?

This heart, this heart, no longer mine,

beats with the gift of love divine.

This love, it comes at the highest price:

A painful gift of sacrifice.

This world, this world, is not enough for me,

A tortuous cross, the only key.

So here I am on bended knee

For I’ll never forget what it means to be free.

My Sad Sci-Fi Addiction

I guess it's time for me to come out of the metaphorical closet on this one and just admit it.

I like watching the X Files.

And, while I sincerely hope it will be many years before I start attending conventions in a costume, I cannot help but feel a little sheepish every time I purchase whatever season is next on my list.

However, there are some good reasons for my addiction to this sci-fi extravaganza, and in the true spirit of my 'list making' habits (I have a pro/con list or a 'to do' list for EVERYTHING!) I thought I would compile a short list of the reasons why I like the X Files. Enjoy!

1. Willing suspension of disbelief (there's a lot of scientific speculation but it's all about forgetting what you know....)

2. It seems to be night time for 70% of the show

3. Even when it is day time, Mulder and Scully somehow end up in buildings that are nearly pitch black

4. They never open a window or turn on a light to investigate these buildings

5. They ALWAYS use a torch

6. There is always a 'fake' scare or 'false alarm' just before the real trouble begins

7. FBI ID seems to get you in just about anywhere - it's better than James Bond

8. Most episodes include about 5 minutes worth of either a car or foot chase

9. I will always enjoy a good government conspiracy story - no matter how far-fetched it is!

10. And, of course, the ever present Mulder and Scully "will they, wont they?" relationship.

My French Encounter

OK!! So here I was sitting at my blog trying to figure out something interesting to write and realising that, in reality, there is not much to say - when the door bell rang.
Who should be at the door but a French boy selling paintings!
I explained that I couldn't buy any of them - being a "povo" student as well but, none-the-less, I got taken for a tour of France through the eyes of a French artist. ahem! sorry - artiste!
The Eiffel Tower, Provence, and modern French art. It was all there.
My only regret is that I didn't try out the little French I know, just to see if I could sustain a semi-conversation!
Now I understand that this doesn't really qualify as something interesting but I'm sure all my friends who know of my long love affair with all things French - will understand the significance of this moment.

*pause to take in significance*

hmmmmm, tres bien!!

A Picture of Intellectual Brilliance.

As I sit to compose this non-masterpiece of literature, it strikes me that for every somewhat brilliant thing I do - there is an equal or opposite reaction in the chemistry of my brain.
This can be seen in the following example extracted from my recent placement experience.

Brilliant moment - seeing a patient who had been incorrectly diagnosed and actually figuring out what the right diagnosis was (yeah, doesn't happen very often!)

Reaction moment - asking (remember this is a hospital) "you don't think they'd have any band aids do you?"

My intellect baffles even me at times!!

In spite of my moments of complete stupidity - I did actually manage to learn much from my experiences on prac. I've now written "highly exudating ulcer" on a medical report (yes, this was a report on a consult I was actually present at....), and I've bandaged many patients......
But perhaps the golden moment was the report that included the words "faecal matter".......oh the joys of medicine and health!

A new attempt

Here is another "original". I do not pretend it has skill or technique - but it is an attempt.....

The Resolute Traveler

Each morning when I rise
As rays light up the sky,
In the darkness of the night
When sleep takes me from the light,
As I sing with the euphoria of life
Or when doubt and pain give me strife,

When my heart gives way
In my darkest of days
Or I sink beneath the murky flood:
A stale mixture of sweat and blood,
When I have fought with all my strength to live
And given of my self all there is to give

Then with tired hands I reach to the One
Where mercy is found and forgiveness done.
For there is no merit that is my own,
But only what Christ has done that leads me home.

Winter Escapades

Here is a little something by my "friend" Robert Frost. I consider it highly appropriate considering the time of year.....and my frame of mind.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer,
To stop without a farmhouse near,
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

-- Robert Frost

Changing the World

Reading through the last few blogs has highlighted to me the fact that I seem to use the word "truancy" a lot. I have to be honest that this is because I have an inability to spell "absence" correctly, so after checking the dictionary and thesaurus I have decided that this cannot happen again.
So currently, I am enjoying the warmer weather in Brisvegas, sitting in the middle of a rather awesome four poster bed, in the company of a very loyal dog. (no hidden metaphors there - it is exactly as it is written.)
Here is something I wrote on a day much like today in 2006.
I sat in a park and contemplated all the things I wanted to achieve in the future. I was surprised to find that many of the things I valued growing up had changed and matured.
But the desire to "change the world" was, and is, still there.

Thoughts And Feelings From This Day (yeah, I really need to get more creative with the titles!)

Bright rays of glory
shine through from above.
The clouds which so frequently line the skies,
all but a memory of days gone by.

Looking to the future and daring to hope
that one day these dreams,
small and feeble as they are now,
will be realised.

For every dream's hope
is to become reality,
and then from reality,
to change the world.

Truth and humility

With the rare phenomenon of free time that I have now it occurred to me that perhaps writing on my blog again would be a good idea. (and also in response to anon's comment...thankyou, I'm glad my work is appreciated!)
My long truancy from the blogging world has been brought on by the ever changing technological age in which we live - in other words I've spent all my time on facebook.

So with a head full of new thoughts and a journal with new "lyrics" to share I'm back in the blogging world again.

Here is something new from the depths of my mind that ticks over on matters of eternity.

HUMBLE, TRUTHFUL THOUGHTS

I am reminded that I am not in control.
You shape me,
You make me
all that I am.
I was trapped in death
I was sapped of power and strength.
But you released me
You freed me
Making me yours alone.
I think to myself
"I am invincible
I am capable of anything"
Yet you humble me,
You give and take,
for any power in this world
is not mine
but yours.
I am reminded that all I am -
you have made
you have purchased
you have loved.
I am who I am because it was your will.

Subject: Study

Current status: Hungry
Current position: Uni computer labs
Current cognitive function: little to none
Subject is tired and a little depressed. This condition was brought on from lack of sleep, sore back and overstudy. Finding time to eat is currently a problem and if sugary sustenance is not provided in next hour, malnutrition will follow. This will result in silliness and an inability to concentrate through the final lecture of the day. Subject requesting a change in scenery and workload. Perhaps this will induce sleep.

Holidays

What a holiday! I must apologise for the slackness of my updates. I could cite excuses but really I have just been enjoying holidays. It has been great to have a much needed rest from study and it seems hard to believe that in a few days time I will be back studying anatomy and other interesting subjects.
And where have I been? What have I been doing?
I left Sydney behind for the beautiful scenery and lifestyle of the country. Tamworth was first point of call. Visiting old friends and reading. And coffee. Then it was back to Sydney to get ready for a week of MYC in Kurrajong. It was a great week spent in good fellowship with new friends and learning lots! It was cold and I had to spend a week parted from my coffee - although a small group of people would 'sneak' into to town everyday for the daily dose of caffiene!
And so I am back in Sydney. Enjoying the last days of my break. Drinking coffee, inhabiting cafes in the area, reading books, watching Anne of Green Gables (and then feeling homesick for the country - Anne of Green Gables always makes me homesick for the country!)
In spite of this I am looking forward to many more adventures this term - especially starting anatomy!! Here's to more learning!

Colds and study

I have to quickly upate people on the subject of my globe. A few posts ago I mentioned that I had purchased a globe. Yes, it only cost $2.50 but it reminded me of "stationery shopping gone berserk". Well, since then the little globe (affectionately known as Albert) has shown it's worth.
The moment of glory came at the time of the Eurovision song contest. L'il Miss and I spent the entire show with Albert guiding us to countries we didn't know existed - (and unfortunately even with some we did know about, but weren't sure where they were.)
Some countries even Albert didn't know of - but, let's face it, when you're only worth $2.50 you can't have every country listed!

And now for something completely different.....

In Tamworth and enjoying the nice cold weather (and a nice bit of cold and flu that goes along with it!).
Yes, it has felt like a haze today trying to study biochemistry. My head is hurting, I am feverish, and I have a sore throat (not to mention the dizziness and fatigue!)
Whether these symptoms are purely the cold/flu or wether I would be feeling like this simply because I was studying chemistry is still up for debate!
The funny thing about being home is that I have to remember that shops keep "country" hours. I finish my study at 6:30pm and decide that I will wander up the street to see what's open and have a break from study.

Nothing but Coles is open.

So the most exciting part of my day is that I managed to buy some cold and flu tablets.....yay.
Onto the fun subject of Sociology tomorrow and who knows what lies beyond? (actually I do. It's Psychology.....again - yay.)
In spite of all that, it is good to be home and having a break from the craziness and non-stop hyperactivity of Sydney.
For all my stu-vac friends out there - if you have finished reading this.......
Stop procrastinationg and get back to study!!!

"Those" weeks......

Well, here I am again, getting back into the once-a-week-blog-update-routine.
And what a day to do it.
I should preface this by saying that what happened this morning has been the whole tone of my week. It's been (as we say) one of "those" weeks.
Murphy's stupid law has been the bain of my existence!
This morning I tried to go to uni on time and not miss my last psych lecture. It was raining - so far ok.
Just as I walked out the door it got worse.
Now, when I say worse I'm talking "Noah in the Ark forty days and forty nights" worse. I practically needed a boat to sail my way down to the train station. It was torrential!
Not phased by this sudden burst I decided to brave the 5 min walk and just head to uni as originally planned. By the time I got to the station it had gotten even worse(if that was indeed possible) and my shoes had little pools of water in them. It was frustrating, to say the least! I had missed my train and now needed to go home and change before I developed hypothermia (ok so that part is a little over-dramatic but work with me people, let's not let truth get in the way of a good story!)
I turned around and had walked about 10 metres (here is the icing on the cake) the rain suddenly eased like someone had turned off the tap and a light, gentle sprinkle had replaced the tempest that was raging.

To say I was annoyed is a huge understatement!

The one redeeming factor, so it seems, is that I now have something to write about and can update my blog.
So here is the update of my mundane existence this week. I could tell you the other stories of this week such as, the adventure of the car boot that wouldn't open (and had computers locked inside for two days), the printer that ran out of ink halfway through printing a 16 page 70% final assignment, or perhaps even the power going off and the morning that there was no hot water - but I think, perhaps, you've all got the picture.......

It's just been one of "those" weeks.

I could write about the fact that it has been so long since I last wrote on my blog, that I had forgotten all my sign in details and spent the last 30 mins trying many different combinations to get in - ovbiously I finally cracked the codes made up by my simplistic brain. The answer was so simple and obvious but for some reason I wanted to make it more complicated than it really was! Yes, I could write more about this - but I wont.

Here are some answers to FAQ's about my recent truancy from the blogging world and what has been happening in the other areas of my life.

1. Where have I been?
I have been studying - doing work. Trying to expand the horizon on my brain scape.

2. How is OT going?
Good. Yesterday I taught someone how to use a walking stick properly. I am still working on the wheelchair part. Surprisingly, I can lift it up and down kerbs ok (provided the person in it isn't huge). It's actually the steering I have troubles with. I can't seem to get it to go where I want! I've been practising with the wheelie bins at home but they are not much easier and I am often horrified by the results - let's just say I don't want any patients ending up like the wheelie bins!
But don't be afraid - I am improving!

3. What about the massages?
See a physio, it's what they do.

4. I heard you are learning counselling, can you therapise me?
Maybe, let's wait until after I pass before I try to help and end up psychologically damaging you instead!

5. What's your campus like?
Great! Out of the city and next to a cemetery - less people around and lots of resources for anatomy! (yes, that was a very poor joke - lets face it, someone else would have gone there even if I hadn't!)

6. What do you do when you're not at uni?
My hillbilly music group called "Blackeyed Fred and the Chicken Drumsticks" is going on tour.
Blackeyed Fred plays a mean spoons solo.
KIDDING!
Truth is that I haven't had heaps of free time which is why it has taken me so long to write on my blog! But I am hoping for some Pirate fun soon, when I go to see the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie. ahr! Actually - funny story time - I did one of those test thingy's to find out what my ideal jobs was and, apparently, my ideal job would be a Pirate! YAY!

7. Has it all been good then?
No, there have been some hard and sad moments this semester.
I said goodbye to a good friend at the airport last week. The good side is that I now have another wonderful "Canuck" friend and am hoping to visit Canada - when I have more money!

8. Are you and your house mates still sane?
No

9. Is the house still standing?
Yes

10. Was the last episode of Angel Season 5 good?
No, it was frustrating and I don't understand what happened.

Hope that covers all bases people! Hopefully I'll post again soon!

Coffee Up!

Things have returned to normal in the house of never-ending-hot-drinks. There is coffee in the coffee pot, there are 3-5 different types of tea to choose from and there is also a hot-chocolate option.......YAY!!

My geeky plan to stay on top of all my paperwork at uni is slowley crumbling to dust! Following prac there is now a huge amount of extra stuff to do on top of all the assignments coming up - EEEK!!! I thought it would be different the second degree around but apparently I was wrong!
To make matters worse I am home sick today!!
Super Immuno Girl met her waterloo not with hep B or tetanus or any of the things she was vaccinated against - NO - it was the common cold. Like a pebble in the shoe, like a pea in the bed (I can't think of any other dodgey analogies?!).
The most common thing in the world brought her to her knees. (Dramatic isn't it?)
Well, at least I can work on assignments at home and not feel too guilty about missing class!
And speaking of prac........(hey, it's a segway even if it is dodgey!!)

OT is Great!!!!! I love it!! There is so much to do and people to meet. I enjoyed doing home visits and talking with elderly patients. It was awesome! I got to wander 'round RPA hospital and read some pretty heavy "researchy" type stuff on the brain.
I have also discovered that, even when I finish uni the paperwork will not be over! For every action you take (seeing, meeting, treating patients) there is an equal (and usually greater) rection in the form of piles of paperwork! I'll be writing reports for the rest of my life - AAAHHH!!!

I was asked yesterday how OT compares to doing a music degree. That is a very interesting question. It's hard to compare the two (science and arts I mean.) but I guess the main difference is that I can do assignments at home in privacy without having a concert hall full of people writing comments on me!!

There's something refreshing about being known as "Bec, that chick from the wheelchair class" as opposed to "Bec, clarinet player who muffed up that technical passage in the 1st movement of the Mozart clarinet concerto" (issues here maybe???)

Ah, the joys of anonymity!

My Favourite Things

A tragedgy has happened in the house of never ending hot drinks.

The coffee supply has run out!

I hope and trust that the enormity of this crisis is recognised by my friends one and all as I sit here in my weakened state, contemplating the possibility of - gasp! - instant coffee. *wail*
This is one thing (among quite a few things) that I am starting to miss about work (coffee never runs out at work - the caffiene fairies replenish the stocks before that happens)

I never thought I would miss work at all but there are definately perks to joining the rat race. (Let's face it, they have to provide ample compensation for spending time more time with random work colleagues than you do with your own family!)

So here are; "My Favourite Things": A comprehensive (though not exhaustive list) of the perks of working life.

- Please note this is not a whinging session, merely a nostalgic trek through pleasant times.....

Cakes in the morning,
and on people's birthdays,
Bright coloured pencils,
and neat looking pen trays,
Lunches at Starkey's, the lunches I eat!
These are a few of my favourite things.

Trips in the work car,
to pick up nice treats,
Nice bags and hats,
to wear up the street,
Golden brown coffee beans, roasted and fine,
Making esesspresso, oh what a great time!

When the job sucks,
When my back hurts,
When the Boss makes me sad,
I simply walk up to the coffee machine,
and then I don't feel so bad.

The Adventures Of Imuno Girl

I have spent a day 'on the edge'. Exciting things have happened.
Today I got vaccinated and I bought my very first 'OT' text book!!!!
Admittedly this doesn't bear much simlarity to "adventure".
Hopefully I'll get a life between now and the next time I post........

Exposition of a Weekend (and other unrelated material)

I have a globe. A reminder of stationery shopping gone berserk. Not that I dislike globes, I got this one because I like to know where everything is in relation to everything else......(I think it's called geography.)
But I sat down at the computer today and thought, "wow, I have a globe. That's really the most useless item of stationery I have bought."
(I have no segway so it's now time for a rather abrupt subject change)

Well, it's Friday, "fun" - day or "Thank God It's Finally Arrived" - day.
Whichever catergory you fall into you are probably planning your night of fun. Friday night's are great because no matter how wrecked you are the next day you still have the extra day up your sleeve to recover. ( Please note, I shan't be too wrecked this week - not having any social engagments and all)

Saturday tends to be a "dead - zone", the world is a haze of fatigue and bewilderment and yet there is that vague sensation that you ought to be making the most of that "Free" time. Cramming in bungy-jumping, surfing, rock climbing, parachuting, helping rebuild orphanges in Mexico and Russia, solving global warming, and training for the next olympics on the off chance your assitance is needed.
However strong this sensation feels, that "black hole" of numbness results in the intake of much caffeinated beverages, staring out windows, wondering why nobody calls to invite you out and realising that the phone works both ways (but really you couldn't be bothered to make the effort).

Something happens between Saturday and Sunday.
Sunday, the "day of hope and anticipation". This day is bittersweet. Out of your comatose state you are ready to enjoy the benefits of being relaxed but this blissful state is undermined by thought of Monday (otherwise known as "BITE ME" - day)

And so the cycle goes on.......

Confessions of a Mature Age Student

It has been a while since I last posted. My apologies for this. And I have to confess that while Buffy has been a major player in my absence from the computer it has not been the whole reason!
This week has been quite a momentous occasion as I had my first two days of OT at Comberland Campus!!!!
It has been a whirlwind of classes, faces and getting lost (I am still trying to find my way around the campus) but slowley I am learning how things work and I have made a least one good friend!
I am amazed at how many mature age students are doing the course and I don't feel like the only grandma sitting in the front row, doing each homework task as it is given and asking "if there is any thing else we can do?".I have been asked several times if I have done a course previously to this one, which got me a little worried about wether I was wearing "Mum" clothes or someting but apparently it's because I look "more confident - less insecure" and in some cases (get this) "a lot wiser". *sigh* Just wait when they find out how wise I really am! (please note the sarcasm in tone here)
It was great to get along to the christian group and find more friends there which was great as I am still feeling a little friend-less. It's great to have gotten past alot of the introductory material and now to be getting into the 'meaty' bits of what I came for - the quest for knowledge - (insert some grandiose music here)
So far I love OT and was a little too excited in our first tutorial when we got to practise moving patients in and out of bed manually and also using a hoist - hoists are way cool!! (yes, the geekiness has only gotten worse!)
The only hard bit is the 8am starts, I have to get up earlier than I did when I was working full time, however I do have a very light week from wednesday on which means more time for - homework!!!! (and also fun!) so if you're in my area or you just want me to write you a really long email let me know. I think you all have either my email, phone number or both.
More to come from student central soon!

Return of the Geek

The title suggests a vague horror movie situation.
The reality it much worse, it has finally happened.
I have entered to realms of geek-dom. I am turning into a nerd. I have started studying already! Uni doesn't start for another three weeks and I have begun to hit the books.
They should never have forced me to buy those tutorial papers and recommended readings. It was all "their" fault - really! Yeah - that's it. It's not me, it's "them". With their books and their words and their "learning".
I think I have managed to freak out the new flat mate that has just moved in.....
I guess that was bound to happen eventually anyway so better to be up front about weirdness I guess.
Between wierdness, Buffy and study it feels just like old times - *sigh*

Buffy Connections

Reliving the Buffy legend - *sigh*
After finishing season seven last year with little miss, therre has now been a long enough gap to start the journey again.
The journey began at the the dvd store as I perused the collection for hire. So much Buffy! And so much Angel too! I am pretty hardcore but I thought that the new release 3 day hire was a little too hardcore - even for me. Buffy is good but working and watching in three days not so good. Luckly the early seasons were for hire for the week. I was set.

As i selected the first couple of discs from season two I got this odd feeling that someone was behind me and was trying to see the dvd's as well.
I turned and there was a high school girl standing behind me. The was a moment of solidarity between us as we recognised a like-minded fan.
I asked her where she was up to and then had a short discussion about which season was best.

It reminded me of me in high school - extremely egocentric I know!
It specifically reminded me of the time little star and I were looking for autumn leaves on the road outside my house one cold afternoon after school. Rugged in our coats and winter uniforms and giggling about how strange it would look to on coming traffic we were enjoying the moment of exploring the world around and finding beauty in it.
This guy (about 24) came walking past. We looked up sheepishly, feeling a little
self-concious (as yr 8 girls do)and instead of turning a blind eye or laughing at us that moment of understanding happened. "Ah" he said "The search for the perfect leaf!" We smiled as he walked on amazed that someone had completely understood what we were doing!

Of course it seems a little dramatic for something so common but I love those moments!
The thought that for one little while you and another person totally understand each other, it's so different from the world of mis-understanding I seem to live in.

well, life has been one Buffy and Angel tornado this week!
But the journey has started!