Roads End

Sitting in the cemetery that day
A picture of life at its end
sucked dry of it's passion
By Loss and Love.
It's only a second so make it count.
Be Big. Make a name,
renew that old flame
Start a revolution,
Move against the grain.
Be original but don't stand out.
Earn your piece.
Earn you piece of this world
Then watch it decay
When you no longer inhabit
The temporary flesh that
Covers your soul.

Street Of Dreams

Howz your life today?
Walking home with that person you barely know.
Walking down the street of dreams......

Did it hold so much promise in the night,
Full of people and full of light?
But in the light of day
In it's stink and decay
It causes you to wonder...

You slip unknowing between poetry and prose

This street of dreams
This street of weeds

Full of those resolutions.....
How many fell from grace;
Made a fatal mistake?
Breaking the pact that held them tight and safe

This street of weeds
On this street of dreams
All you wanna do is scream.....

Restless One

Thunder rips the sky......

Lightening tears apart the dark
A perceptive eye exposes my heart.
I abandoned structure for you
coz I thought this freedom would see me through.

Since that moment, late nights call this one again.
My restless one, bring me comfort don't bring me pain....
These late nights will be the death of me
Coz when I'm awake you're all I see
And even when I close my eyes
The image of you in my mind lies.
And cradled in your arms I rest
This weary head against your chest.

Say you're here to stay,
Bring me comfort, don't bring me pain.

Take It All

Take this broken body and make it new.
Take this life and this heart too.
Mend it. Use it. Make it great.
Teach it to love and not to hate.
Take this mind, this feeble thought
Take it all. With blood it was bought.

Far From Here

Tides sweep across the bay
Carrying us far away.
Moving on this waters journey
To the ocean
Far. Wide. Deep.
So say we'll keep this moment
The rest of our lives
Pure and untouched.

We all have crosses to bear
Sins to escape
I just don't know
How to get out of this place.

Take me far from here
Where the past meets the presence in fear
Take me, my hand in yours
And walk along foreign shores
Far from here.

And this goes out to.....

For all those friends (you know who you are) who have been through this lately....

The Usual Fiasco

And so it goes
the usual fiasco.
The music plays,
I've heard this song before
the familiar sounds
of questioning each thought...

But I've found out that

You're telling lies, You're telling lies
Confusing me inside.
You're telling lies, you're telling lies
You confuse me with your eyes.

Can't seem to stop
the spiral once it's started.
From black to grey
you've made it all so hazy.
It's time to stop
this game of cruel pretending.

Coz now I know that....

You're telling lies, You're telling lies
Confusing me inside.
You're telling lies, you're telling lies
You confuse me with your eyes.

It's no surprise,
you're telling lies,
the usual fiasco

Just tell me, just tell me
just tell me, please just tell me.....
The Truth.

A Good Yarn

The art of telling a good yarn is tricky and elusive. There seems to be something of a pattern to conversation which I can only describe as "yarn etiquette". Yarn etiquette does not follow the conventional rules of table talk for dinner parties (such as one might expect in British aristocracy) rather, the Yarn is reserved for the Australian table.

While yarn telling varies with different groups in the city and the country there are some universal (and by universal I mean universally Australian) traits that accompany a dinner party "yarn-fest".

One must realise that Yarns are first and foremost nostalgic treks. They are events that have been eroded by time (and selective memory) and form a funny, scary, useful (but not always relevant) story.

The more outrageous the event - the better the Yarn.

As one moves around in society, one becomes acquainted with the polite segway to the Yarn itself. A yarn must never be attempted until proper introduction is made.

First, one must find a connection, or appear to find a connection, with the current conversation (relevance is relative here, a tenuous link will suffice).

Second, begin the Yarn with the line "I remember when...."

* it is important to note that when in the company of people who may recollect the same event with more accuracy, it is appropriate to alter the line to "Do you remember when....?"

Third, when recounting embarrassing stories about others, be sure to give a name. Everyone knows that a story about "a friend" is always a reference to one-self.

Fourth, hand gestures are essential to getting one's point across. Bigger gestures are better and add to the overall impact of the Yarn.

Fifth, at the end of the Yarn repetition can be used in two situations,

1. If the crowd responds well, repetition of the key points of the Yarn can help one relive the moment of Good Yarn Glory


2. If the response is not quite what one expects, repetition followed by explanation may be employed to help the crowd understand why this was a good yarn and deserves more than it got....

Sixth, a good yarn will lead to a "yarn-fest" (a swapping extravaganza of yarns). This fest ends when someone (this person exists in every crowd) tells a yarn that is inappropriate, not funny or fails to obey yarn etiquette (as laid out previously).

By following these simple and basic rules, one will be equipped to participate in any conversation that occurs around the dinner table, bbq or afternoon tea.

Special #2

This song by Adele has been a bit of a 'muse' for me for a while now. Thought I would share it.

Hometown Glory

I've been walking in the same way as I did
Missing out the cracks in the pavement
And tutting my heel and strutting my feet
"Is there anything I can do for you dear? Is there anyone I could call?"
"No and thank you, please Madam. I ain't lost, just wandering"

Round my hometown
Memories are fresh
Round my hometown
Ooh the people I've met
Are the wonders of my world
Are the wonders of my world
Are the wonders of this world
Are the wonders of my world

I like it in the city when the air is so thick and opaque
I love to see everybody in short skirts, shorts and shades
I like it in the city when two worlds collide
You get the people and the government
Everybody taking different sides

Shows that we ain't gonna stand
Shows that we are united
Shows that we ain't gonna take it
Shows that we ain't gonna stand
Shows that we are united

Round my hometown
Memories are fresh
Round my hometown
Ooh the people I've met

Are the wonders of my world
Are the wonders of my world
Are the wonders of this world
Are the wonders of my world

- Adele

Christmas Special #1

So this doesn't have much to do with Christmas but it's an issue I've been pondering all year.
Last night at Bible Study we were discussing pluralism and getting a little philosophical and as always my mind wandered......
What is wisdom? How does it differ from knowledge or understanding and how do they(knowledge and understanding) differ from each other?
(I know this doesn't really relate to pluralism......what can I say?)
I encountered this debate in first year.
Our tutor "made" us write an essay on the difference between knowledge and understanding. At the time it was just another essay. Another hoop to jump through on the way to a degree.
But the debate has stuck with me.
I've thought a lot about wisdom this year.
Trying (though honestly not always succeeding) to be wiser.....
And I've got to the end of the year with more questions than answers.
Is it possible to quantify something so abstract?
And yet - how can we aim for something if we don't know what it is we are trying to achieve?
It was suggested (in the class discussions) that knowledge and understanding are inseparable and that one can not exist without the other. In order to understand we must first have a collection of facts (knowledge). But is it possible to have knowledge without understanding? (I think it is....)
It was also suggested that understanding is applied knowledge. - An interesting definition when you throw wisdom into the mix.
Wisdom - learning from experience? Applying knowledge? learning from mistakes? A consciousness beyond understanding? Or a series of actions based on understanding?
I've come to at least one conclusion - knowledge and understanding are all about the thought process. It seems to me (and I'm happy to be wrong) that wisdom, while a thought process, seems to be concerned with a practical, actions-based outcome.

The Christmas List

So it's that time of year again.
The reflective time. The "slow" time - or for those of us doing a variety of summer schools and missions - the crazy/insane time.
Either way, it's that time where people stop to take in the year that has passed.
So in true Christmas "midday movie" fashion here are some "special" moments from this year.

• Discovering the Sauna experience at the Ian Thorpe Aquatic Center ( and then only a few months later having that experience taken away by the inflation of pool entry fees....grrr!)
• Being asked for the first time in Scripture, that age-old kid question "When was God Born?" (so simple yet so complex!)
• Nights out with the "pub crew" and the subsequent weekend away to Leura - I'll always remember the poetry and interpretive dance.....(and I hope that the video has been deleted....)
• Having two close friends get baptised
• Weekend breakfast fun with the shiny, happy people at Moore College
• The jam session in a garage that involved the eclectic combination of an old church organ, a drum and a guitar....
• Watching Bold and the Beautiful every 4-6 weeks and seeing Brooke go from Nick, to Ridge and back to Nick again......so is she back with Ridge yet.....?
• Crosswords in lectures, hangman in lectures, reading the newspaper in lectures, texting in lectures, pranking random people on bluetooth in lectures.....actually just about anything that wasn't actually listening to the lecture itself.....
• Seeing the rise and fall of the world economy
• Witnessing a major changeover of the world's leaders - and wondering how they will choose to use their power and how the world will be different as a result.
• Finally making it to Brisbane.....(Little Star - that one is for you!)
• Getting my very first guitar for my birthday (and then having my first actual lesson....)
• Putting up the Christmas tree with my flatmates and playing cricket with the branches and decorations......(there may have been some sword play in there too but you didn't hear that from me.....)
• Saying goodbye to our minister and his wife - people who've had a huge impact on me as a Christian

So I could go on.........
But I'll stop there before this turns into an epic "Hallmark" card.
I guess my last thought for this entry is that it wasn't just about one special moment - it was about witnessing the way God has worked in both my life and the lives of those around me day by day.
Merry Christmas everyone!

Insight

This world, this world such beauty and pain

A pretense of freedom, yet what do we gain?

Popular opinion and fleeting fame -

Can’t you see this ball and chain?

This life, this life, not made to last

It passes by and is over so fast.

When all we have of life is past

What will hold and keep our souls fast?

This heart, this heart, no longer mine,

beats with the gift of love divine.

This love, it comes at the highest price:

A painful gift of sacrifice.

This world, this world, is not enough for me,

A tortuous cross, the only key.

So here I am on bended knee

For I’ll never forget what it means to be free.

My Sad Sci-Fi Addiction

I guess it's time for me to come out of the metaphorical closet on this one and just admit it.

I like watching the X Files.

And, while I sincerely hope it will be many years before I start attending conventions in a costume, I cannot help but feel a little sheepish every time I purchase whatever season is next on my list.

However, there are some good reasons for my addiction to this sci-fi extravaganza, and in the true spirit of my 'list making' habits (I have a pro/con list or a 'to do' list for EVERYTHING!) I thought I would compile a short list of the reasons why I like the X Files. Enjoy!

1. Willing suspension of disbelief (there's a lot of scientific speculation but it's all about forgetting what you know....)

2. It seems to be night time for 70% of the show

3. Even when it is day time, Mulder and Scully somehow end up in buildings that are nearly pitch black

4. They never open a window or turn on a light to investigate these buildings

5. They ALWAYS use a torch

6. There is always a 'fake' scare or 'false alarm' just before the real trouble begins

7. FBI ID seems to get you in just about anywhere - it's better than James Bond

8. Most episodes include about 5 minutes worth of either a car or foot chase

9. I will always enjoy a good government conspiracy story - no matter how far-fetched it is!

10. And, of course, the ever present Mulder and Scully "will they, wont they?" relationship.

My French Encounter

OK!! So here I was sitting at my blog trying to figure out something interesting to write and realising that, in reality, there is not much to say - when the door bell rang.
Who should be at the door but a French boy selling paintings!
I explained that I couldn't buy any of them - being a "povo" student as well but, none-the-less, I got taken for a tour of France through the eyes of a French artist. ahem! sorry - artiste!
The Eiffel Tower, Provence, and modern French art. It was all there.
My only regret is that I didn't try out the little French I know, just to see if I could sustain a semi-conversation!
Now I understand that this doesn't really qualify as something interesting but I'm sure all my friends who know of my long love affair with all things French - will understand the significance of this moment.

*pause to take in significance*

hmmmmm, tres bien!!

A Picture of Intellectual Brilliance.

As I sit to compose this non-masterpiece of literature, it strikes me that for every somewhat brilliant thing I do - there is an equal or opposite reaction in the chemistry of my brain.
This can be seen in the following example extracted from my recent placement experience.

Brilliant moment - seeing a patient who had been incorrectly diagnosed and actually figuring out what the right diagnosis was (yeah, doesn't happen very often!)

Reaction moment - asking (remember this is a hospital) "you don't think they'd have any band aids do you?"

My intellect baffles even me at times!!

In spite of my moments of complete stupidity - I did actually manage to learn much from my experiences on prac. I've now written "highly exudating ulcer" on a medical report (yes, this was a report on a consult I was actually present at....), and I've bandaged many patients......
But perhaps the golden moment was the report that included the words "faecal matter".......oh the joys of medicine and health!

A new attempt

Here is another "original". I do not pretend it has skill or technique - but it is an attempt.....

The Resolute Traveler

Each morning when I rise
As rays light up the sky,
In the darkness of the night
When sleep takes me from the light,
As I sing with the euphoria of life
Or when doubt and pain give me strife,

When my heart gives way
In my darkest of days
Or I sink beneath the murky flood:
A stale mixture of sweat and blood,
When I have fought with all my strength to live
And given of my self all there is to give

Then with tired hands I reach to the One
Where mercy is found and forgiveness done.
For there is no merit that is my own,
But only what Christ has done that leads me home.

Winter Escapades

Here is a little something by my "friend" Robert Frost. I consider it highly appropriate considering the time of year.....and my frame of mind.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer,
To stop without a farmhouse near,
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

-- Robert Frost

Changing the World

Reading through the last few blogs has highlighted to me the fact that I seem to use the word "truancy" a lot. I have to be honest that this is because I have an inability to spell "absence" correctly, so after checking the dictionary and thesaurus I have decided that this cannot happen again.
So currently, I am enjoying the warmer weather in Brisvegas, sitting in the middle of a rather awesome four poster bed, in the company of a very loyal dog. (no hidden metaphors there - it is exactly as it is written.)
Here is something I wrote on a day much like today in 2006.
I sat in a park and contemplated all the things I wanted to achieve in the future. I was surprised to find that many of the things I valued growing up had changed and matured.
But the desire to "change the world" was, and is, still there.

Thoughts And Feelings From This Day (yeah, I really need to get more creative with the titles!)

Bright rays of glory
shine through from above.
The clouds which so frequently line the skies,
all but a memory of days gone by.

Looking to the future and daring to hope
that one day these dreams,
small and feeble as they are now,
will be realised.

For every dream's hope
is to become reality,
and then from reality,
to change the world.

Truth and humility

With the rare phenomenon of free time that I have now it occurred to me that perhaps writing on my blog again would be a good idea. (and also in response to anon's comment...thankyou, I'm glad my work is appreciated!)
My long truancy from the blogging world has been brought on by the ever changing technological age in which we live - in other words I've spent all my time on facebook.

So with a head full of new thoughts and a journal with new "lyrics" to share I'm back in the blogging world again.

Here is something new from the depths of my mind that ticks over on matters of eternity.

HUMBLE, TRUTHFUL THOUGHTS

I am reminded that I am not in control.
You shape me,
You make me
all that I am.
I was trapped in death
I was sapped of power and strength.
But you released me
You freed me
Making me yours alone.
I think to myself
"I am invincible
I am capable of anything"
Yet you humble me,
You give and take,
for any power in this world
is not mine
but yours.
I am reminded that all I am -
you have made
you have purchased
you have loved.
I am who I am because it was your will.

Subject: Study

Current status: Hungry
Current position: Uni computer labs
Current cognitive function: little to none
Subject is tired and a little depressed. This condition was brought on from lack of sleep, sore back and overstudy. Finding time to eat is currently a problem and if sugary sustenance is not provided in next hour, malnutrition will follow. This will result in silliness and an inability to concentrate through the final lecture of the day. Subject requesting a change in scenery and workload. Perhaps this will induce sleep.

Holidays

What a holiday! I must apologise for the slackness of my updates. I could cite excuses but really I have just been enjoying holidays. It has been great to have a much needed rest from study and it seems hard to believe that in a few days time I will be back studying anatomy and other interesting subjects.
And where have I been? What have I been doing?
I left Sydney behind for the beautiful scenery and lifestyle of the country. Tamworth was first point of call. Visiting old friends and reading. And coffee. Then it was back to Sydney to get ready for a week of MYC in Kurrajong. It was a great week spent in good fellowship with new friends and learning lots! It was cold and I had to spend a week parted from my coffee - although a small group of people would 'sneak' into to town everyday for the daily dose of caffiene!
And so I am back in Sydney. Enjoying the last days of my break. Drinking coffee, inhabiting cafes in the area, reading books, watching Anne of Green Gables (and then feeling homesick for the country - Anne of Green Gables always makes me homesick for the country!)
In spite of this I am looking forward to many more adventures this term - especially starting anatomy!! Here's to more learning!